


I want to stay close to you

by Cloud111



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Begging, Canon Compliant, Condoms, Consent, Fingering, First Time, Fluff, Frottage, Love, Loving Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Penetrative Sex, Pet Names, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, VictUuri, anxiety reference, blowjob, bottom!yuuri, loud yuuri, top!victor, virgin!Yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8969446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud111/pseuds/Cloud111
Summary: Yuuri swallowed, letting his head turn back to the legend sprawled out on his bed. To the first person to reach out for him after he'd pushed them away. To the man that had taught him to love himself and taught him to want things because he could get them if only he tried."I want... you."---Victor insists on giving Yuuri something as a reward for his medal win. Yuuri learns to ask (beg) for what he wants.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is garbage, bye

"Hey, Yuuri, what is it that you want for winning?"

Yuuri turns to look at his coach in confusion.

"What do you mean? I got the medal, right, and the prize money? And I got those lovely flowers" He gestured to the objects in Victor's hands.

"I mean what do you want from _me_ " Victor leaned close to Yuuri, grinning smugly.

"O-oh, you don't have to get me anything!" Yuuri waved his hands frantically "Your coaching was more than enough, in fact I still owe you that coaching fee and-"

 "Yuuri." Victor complained flatly, forcing Yuuri to turn and look at him.

"I-I don't-?" Yuuri started another apology. _I don't know what you mean_. But his eyes fixed onto Victor's and he felt something low in his stomach. Victor's eyes were icy blue and when they met Yuuri's - fire red - they melted. "U-um..." Yuuri choked on sudden saliva. His shoulders shot up to his ears in tension. _He doesn't mean..._

Victor sighed. "I guess we can decide later".

\---

All of the competitors went out to dinner afterwards, and it was a surprisingly jubilant crowd. Yurio yelled throughout the meal, never taking a moment to reveal how happy he was and never admitting to the tears that had him locked in a back room for several minutes after he'd left the ice. Most of the coaches decided they wanted to drink, and so their younger athletes left, as did the older athletes who were just exhausted. Yuuri made to stand up with them, but Victor held him down, squeezing the muscle above Yuuri's knee. Yuuri gasped and blushed, glancing down at the hand, but sat back down beside Victor who scooted closer until their thighs touched.

Yuuri's face lit up and everyone else noticed but said nothing. Victor pretended ignorance. After a few rounds of drinks a sly hand reached around Yuuri's lower back, catching him on the lower hip without showing anything above the table. Yuuri's head snapped towards Victor, expecting to see him pretending he hadn't done anything again. But Victor was looking at him, that same look in his eyes from earlier in the hallway and he didn't break eye contact. Yuuri was weak suddenly and Victor's index finger tightened around the crease of his thigh, making him gasp softly. As drunk as their companions were, they didn't notice this time and Victor took their moment alone to whisper in his ear.

"Do you know yet? What you want?"

\---

Yuuri stayed until the whole group wanted to leave but refused to drink more alcohol. He couldn't embarrass himself so soon after his biggest achievement. Victor looked down at him with disappointment every time one of the group left for drinks and he put his hand up in a polite "none for me thanks". Victor did chastise himself a bit, his intentions far from pure, but all the same he longed so intensely to spend more time with the Yuuri from their first meeting. He sighed to himself. _But I love this Yuuri just as much. I'll respect his wishes._

Victor didn't hold back himself, finishing several beers before they walked back to the hotel together. He was hanging off of Yuuri's shoulder when they entered the lobby and parted ways. The two of them had opted to share a room. Their decision was based on the lie that it was cheaper and more convenient, but Victor was sure Yuuri knew better. It was the easiest way to admit "I want to be around you always" without those words being used and without the obvious intention. They were still playing games. Even after everything, even after Victor had tried so hard to put himself out there. _I love you Yuuri, can't you tell yet? You love me too don't you? ...Do you?_

The kiss and the rings and the medal, their promise to stay together, did it mean nothing after all? Surely not. Victor knew, Yuuri was terrified to seek what he wanted, he knew how badly it hurt to fall short, and fall all the further because he had reached out. He shielded himself from pain by desiring little. Victor had to show him. He had to prove that he would reach back. He had been trying to do that all this time.

Yuuri hesitated as he helped Victor into the hotel room. Should he put him on the bed? Help him change clothes? He wasn't so drunk, he could still probably put his own clothes o- no, no he couldn't. Yuuri hung his head, watching Victor fall on the bed from what seemed to be a steady standing position.

"Yuuuuri~" Victor muffled from the bed. His next words were lost in the blankets.

"What's that Victor?" Yuuri leaned over the bed so he could put his ear near Victor's mouth. Instead a somehow steady hand reached up and pulled him down by his collar. Victor cuddled against him instantly.

"I said lie here with me" He slurred, his mouth sweeping against Yuuri's earlobe. Probably by accident... right? Yuuri felt like he should pull away, he put his hands underneath himself intending to leave. It was inappropriate... Victor was drunk and his coach and didn't like him like that, he didn't hardly want him at all now that his medal was only silver... Yuuri could feel a thread of anxiety slithering up his spine, reaching to wrap around his neck. He'd blown his chance at a gold medal, he'd embarrassed himself in front of Victor, he'd let him down. The tendril of anxiety squeezed, then suddenly it vanished and insteaad there was a warm hand there, rubbing soothingly. "Just for a minute. I'm so proud of you my katsudon".

The tension in his back dissipated, he hadn't realized how tight he had been wound. But Victor peered up at him expectantly. _It wouldn't hurt just to... lay here, would it?_

Yuuri lowered himself onto the bed completely, distracted for a moment at the thought that he hadn't turned on any lights, but when Victor threw his arms around him and pulled Yuuri so close their chests touched he couldn't remember anything for a while. His heart pounded pleasantly, and in an instinctual urge he pulled a blanket over them from the other half of the bed. His heart thumped, harder, scared now. _Why did I do that? We're under a blanket together that's not... appropriate_.

But Victor didn't seem to notice their situation. He hummed happily at the warmth. Yuuri relaxed again. Victor... didn't see this the way he did. This was okay. Hesitantly Yuuri let his arms come up and press against Victor's back and chest. He had stopped drinking but he did still have a pleasant buzz and the warmth that their bodies was making was so nice... Yuuri allowed his head to fall forwards against Victor's shoulder.

Several minutes passed before Victor excitedly wiggled around, disturbing Yuuri out of his pleasant position as he pulled Yuuri on top of him, along with more blankets. It would've been cozy but Yuuri was explicitly aware of what was happening below his stomach. _Stop, stop, please not now, now while he's here! If he knew I felt like that, he'd reject me! He'd hate me!_

Victor's hands came up to brush Yuuri's cheeks. His eyes were clearing, and his speech was more measured now. "That last jump was fantastic Yuuri, have I said that yet? You were my very image, breathtaking!" Yuuri watched his face light up - giddy. He accepted the praise, something he never could have done before. Victor's praise continued, picking apart little parts of his performance and never for a second criticizing him. "I really am so proud of you, I was too mean afterwards, silver or no, I'll kiss you."

Yuuri chuckled. Victor must still be drunk. "Victor, I think you mean to say you'd kiss the medal." When he opened his eyes Victor looked quiet and sober.

"No."

Yuuri's breath caught. Victor held eye contact, asking. He was giving Yuuri the choice. _Please decide this. I can't make you let me in_. He watched the boy's face transform. In a different time Yuuri would have leapt away, left the room. He would've immediately loudly said something unromantic, some bashful rejection. But with his cheeks aflame Yuuri argued with himself. _Why would Victor make fun of me like this? He must be... serious._

Steeling himself with sudden bravery, Yuuri lurched towards Victor, pressing his lips unpleasantly to the corner of his coach's mouth. Victor released a booming laugh, excitedly throwing his arms around his athlete and holding him tight against him. "One more!" Victor requested, and Yuuri, his face burning, smiled in relief and returned, this time with enough confidence to prolong the kiss. Victor's lips were so soft... just like that time.

Yuuri replayed it in his mind so many times. They never talked about it, never discussed what that kiss meant. He had settled on the thought that Victor had kissed him purely and platonically out of excitement. But this... this was... not that. It transformed. Yuuri lost minutes of time before he realized he was panting against Victor, who had long since pressed his tongue into Yuuri's mouth. Yuuri found himself sucking on it, groaning. He froze, realizing he'd just grinded his hips against Victor's thigh. He pulled back completely.

"S-sorry! Oh god, I, I'm sorry, you're drunk and I'm still a little dizzy too and-! I-I should go!"

Victor was already speaking, interrupting him. "Yuuri, no." He held Yuuri's arm, loosely enough that he could pull away, but he didn't, only moved his body off of Victor's and propped himself up with his hand.

"Yuuri, I'm not drunk anymore. Are you?" The question was so honest. Because Victor wanted Yuuri to make this a sober decision. He wanted so badly to make Yuuri his lover, but he could only do it if that was what Yuuri truly wanted too.

Yuuri already knew the answer. By now any alcohol in his system had little to no effect on his judgement. "...no." He said in a small voice.

"Do you want to stop?" Victor let his hand drop, but Yuuri stayed.

"...no." He was barely audible. His face turned away from Victor but the tops of his ears were still red from his blush.

"I'll ask you again now... what do you want? What do you want me to give you?"

Yuuri swallowed, letting his head turn back to the legend sprawled out on his bed. To the first person to reach out for him after he'd pushed them away. To the man that had taught him to love himself and taught him to want things because he could get them if only he tried.

"I want... you."

Victor's grin was blinding. "Okay then!" He cheered, then pulled Yuuri back down on top of him and covered Yuuri's mouth with his own. Sloppily he licked the side of Yuuri's mouth. "I've waited so long to hear you say that" he moved in for another kiss but his demeanor broke, and he pulled back to look at Yuuri intensely.

"You need to know though, I love you!"

Yuuri stared in shock. _He just said that... to me_. It was so nonchalant, so purposeful, could he really mean it?

"You stole my heart the night we met and this isn't nothing to me and I don't do this often. Yuuri, I want you so bad because I love you. I want to give you everything" Victor carefully pulled Yuuri's glasses away, and a moment later a tear splashed on the heel of his hand.

Yuuri's anxiety fought with him. _He certainly is a convincing liar. People will do anything for what they want, even say things like that._ Somehow he vanquished it because suddenly, certainly he knew one thing. He loved Victor too. He trusted him, and when Victor raised his other hand to wipe the tears out of Yuuri's eyes he gripped Victor's hand and kissed his palm.

"M-me too." _Not good enough_ Yuuri told himself _This is you giving it everything. Don't hesitate now._ "I love you too, Victor." Victors eyes closed to slits as he twisted himself to hover over Yuuri. Yuuri stared wide-eyed at the predatory gaze suddenly from Victor. It made his insides twist and Yuuri realized with embarrassment that his pants were tight around his hips.

"I know it's probably going to get harder for you to say yes." Victor purred, "because I know how often you convince yourself you don't want things that make you vulnerable" Victor's hand crept down, then up under Yuuri's shirt which pooled against his wrist as Victor's hand smoothed up Yuuri's chest. Yuuri shivered. "but I know you can say 'no'. Or 'stop'." Victor suddenly licked Yuuri's neck hungrily, his thumb passing over Yuuri's nipple "so if it's alright with you I'll just keep going... until I hear one of those words." Victor's hand was moving down again, down over Yuuri's ribs, down over his stomach which trembled, and down to the crease of his thigh which it followed into his pants.

Yuuri almost wanted to stop him. But he realized how little control he had here. He didn't need to say things that would admit arousal or desire, anything that would embarrass him or make him vulnerable. He only needed to allow Victor to do what he wanted. What they both wanted. Resisting would be pointless because... he did want this. Yuuri gasped when Victor's fingertips brushed against the base of his erection, and his hands shot up to fist in the older man's shirt.

"Wow." Victor admired, allowing his thumb and index fingers to form a partial circle around the base. Yuuri had his head turned to the side, allowing Victor full access to his neck which he was making good use of. There was already a pair of reddening splotches, and Victor nipped at Yuuri's throat. "It's not like I haven't seen it before so... I'm going to take your clothes off now" Victor decided with a single quick jerk of his hand. Yuuri arched and cried out, making Victor draw back in surprise.

"Th-that was..." Victor didn't know what to say. His adorable, talented silver medalist - his inspiration - was beneath him and making those _sounds_ for him. It had been so long since anyone had made those sounds for him and this was no comparison. Yuuri was surprisingly vocal. Victor almost broke. "Yuuri, do that again, don't hold back. I want to hear you." Victor jerked his hand again, at the same time kissing Yuuri's jaw. He wanted to sob in the same instant that he wanted to rip Yuuri's pants down and just fuck him right then. Yuuri bit his hand, but the sound still echoed across the room. It was high and wanting, and as it ripped from his throat Yuuri looked right at Victor. Victor felt himself going crazy, his brain clouded entirely. He needed Yuuri so badly, Victor started yanking at his clothes with his free hand.

Yuuri was worried he would be spent before they got anywhere. If this was the only night he got with Victor before they parted he wanted all of it. He wanted all of Victor. "Victor please..." he sobbed, and Victor stopped halfway through removing Yuuri's shirt after having removed all but his own black briefs.

"What is it my love, anything." He nosed the indentation behind Yuuri's ear. His hand disappeared from Yuuri's erection and suddenly he felt it throbbing in his pants, weeping.  "Do you want me to stop?" Yuuri felt cold, he craved the warmth, he needed it.

"No! Victor... please, I... I want you..." He dropped the sentence, he couldn't possibly say it.

_I want you inside_

But Victor was frustratingly patient, staying his distance in case the sentence ended with "want you to go now". Yuuri couldn't say it but his body was braver. With both hands he tugged at his own pants, pulling them off awkwardly. Catching on, Victor helped, and soon there was nothing between them but the thin fabric of their underwear. Victor pressed close, but it was Yuuri whose hips shot up and who rubbed himself against Victor's thigh for relief.

"So eager" Victor sighed. "You're turning me on Yuuri. I don't know how I'll control myself"

Yuuri swallowed the saliva collecting in his mouth. "Then don't." Victor glanced up at him curiously from where he was kissing Yuuri's chest. "Take me Victor".

Victor moaned lowly, setting Yuuri into a frenzy. How had he said that?? Such true, lusty thoughts; sinful. He couldn't control his desires anymore but at the same time he could see the same in Victor. At this point why should he hide it? They were nearly naked before each other, no joke could have gone this far, Victor wanted him too. Yuuri ran one hand through his hair and twisted his head provocatively to the side as his bit his lip at his coach.

"Fuck me Victor." He begged, suddenly with complete confidence. Victors hips surged against Yuuri's, creating sweet friction between their erections. Victor was uncontrollable for a moment, his body giving in to the need and bucking against Yuuri until he could snap himself out of it. Yuuri's fingernails scratched long marks onto Victor's shoulder blades.

"I-I will. I will. God, I'll give you anything my darling." Yuuri was surprised to watch Victor become the helpless one. He trembled as he positioned himself between Yuuri's legs. He grabbed a pillow from the headboard and placed under Yuuri's hips. "Th-this way it's easier on you." Victor collapsed forwards again in a fit of lust, kissing and biting up Yuuri's neck and licking his jaw, rubbing his fingers against Yuuri's nipples and sliding greedy fingers over his abdomen. His hips bucked against Yuuri and he could feel Victor's cock prod at his opening.

Yuuri's demeanor deflated, could he really do this?? He'd never been with a man before, he'd never... stretched himself at all and Victor felt so _big_.

"It's okay, it's okay." Victor murmured against Yuuri's clavicle. His hand reached blindly for the bedside table, and he pulled out a small bag with a sleeping mask and ear plugs and from the bottom he pulled a small bottle of clear liquid and a square packet. "I-I was... I mean." Yuuri stared dumbfounded at Victor's inability to form the sentence. _I was hoping we would finally do this on this trip._ "I'll make this easy for you." He promised, before pulling Yuuri's underwear off in one motion.

His erection was red and looked agonizing. Victor had known that Yuuri was aroused after lying down with him, he must be absolutely dying for release.

"Do you want to cum now?" Victor offered. It didn't really matter, Yuuri didn't need an erection for what they were going to do. He eyed Yuuri, who had covered his face after being propped up so lewdly. "Ah right, I forgot. I'm making this easy. Say 'no' if you don't like this." Victor shimmied back enough to prop Yuuri's thighs on his shoulders and he brought his mouth close enough to Yuuri that his breath disturbed his pubic hair.

"Don't-!" Yuuri begged. He had to, it was impulsive. How could he let his coach put his mouth on his cock without putting up some resistance, without some insistence that he didn't need to do it? Victor froze obediently, but Yuuri felt his stomach clench painfully. He wanted to feel Victor so badly. "I-I didn't say 'no'... exactly" Yuuri offered, cheeks aflame. Victor grinned excitedly, then ran a hot tongue up Yuuri's length from base to tip, and licked kittenishly at the very top, making Yuuri instantly leak pre-cum. "Victor, Victor please." He was begging without intention, just anything to keep Victor going, anything to bring him closer. He wanted to feel more of him.

Victor surprised Yuuri, taking most of him into his mouth between tight, sucking lips. It made Yuuri whine loudly and lift his legs up. Yuuri was regretful suddenly that he had probably missed his shot at feeling Victor's body... or had he? He pushed Victor away, but burned the image of his erection leaving Victor's lips into his mind.

"I... you too." Yuuri tried to explain when he sat straddling Victor's lap. He hadn't expected the pleasant feeling when Victor's bulge pressed against his ass, but it was overwhelming. Victor sat back in astonishment, his mind playing the possibility of Yuuri riding him like this. It was too much, he bucked up into Yuuri who whimpered. "W-wait" Yuuri pleaded. "I want to... touch you." In shock, Victor watched Yuuri run careful fingers all up and down his body, memorizing every plane. In his love-drunk stupor Yuuri babbled things he had never intended to say.

"Before I ever met you... when I was just a fan I always dreamed about touching you like this. I-I... I would touch myself when I thought about you. I did it a lot." Yuuri dragged his hips against Victor's. "I never...ngh... I never thought I'd ever even meet you but... " Yuuri dug his hand into Victor's underwear at the same time that he pushed their mouths together. "I'm so lucky to love you" Yuuri panted between kisses. He pulled Victor's erection out and fumbled to pull down his underwear, only succeeding in getting it halfway down his thigh. Yuuri hesitated, realizing his inexperience. "U-um Victor I don't know how to do this." Yuuri leaned back, fumbling to get the pillow back under his lower back. "Could you please do it?"

Victor felt his world turn on its axis. Yuuri sitting there asking to be fucked. Admitting his long-time affection for him. His hips so embarrassingly displayed in the air, the faint ghost of Yuuri's hand still around Victor's cock. "Of course, my katsudon." Victor sobbed, his control wearing ever-thin. "I-I'll go slow." Victor sat up from the position Yuuri had pushed him down into, grabbing the bottle of lube after completely removing his underwear. "If this hurts you can stop me." Victor's hands were shaking as he poured the lube onto two fingers and rubbed it against Yuuri's opening.

Yuuri hid his face in his shoulder. Five-time gold medalist and his life-long idol Victor Nikiforov was rubbing his fingers against Yuuri's opening because he was about to fuck him, because he _loved him_ , because for whatever reason he wanted to be close to him. It was too much to believe but there was no handhold for his anxiety any longer. The look in Victor's eyes told him there was no way he could mess this up, and it was long past the point of admitting that Victor was joking or drunk. He was neither, and that was clear, and Yuuri had grown tired of pretending he didn't want this just as badly.

Victor positioned himself with his arm between Yuuri's legs but their faces close. He kissed Yuuri slowly as he pushed one finger into him. Yuuri made muffled noises against Victor's mouth as the finger pushed deeper. Yuuri's brow knit together, but Victor paused after his whole finger was inside and Yuuri threw his head back, panting, adjusting.

"If it's too much I can-"

"-no! Don't stop" Yuuri said certainly. His eyes were shining with the eros that Victor had known he could have, and when Yuuri nodded Victor pulled his finger mostly out only the thrust it back in. When the boy became a begging mess Victor put in a second, then a third finger in time. Eventually his fingers curled inside the younger skater and Yuuri arched, a loud cry indicating the location of his prostate. "That felt really good-!" Yuuri said shocked, as if he'd expected this whole process to be unpleasant. "Again, baby, please." Yuuri licked his lip up at Victor, who momentarily lost track of what he was doing. It was that look again, from the ice. The one that had Victor stealing time in their hotel room while Yuuri was in the shower or running an errand, underneath the blankets with his hand between his legs and Yuuri's name on his lips in a repeating chant.

"Can i go inside you now?" Victor begged. His eyes were so vulnerable. He didn't know how he could last.

"...Yes." Yuuri managed to say, his first assent since they'd started, and not the last. Because after Victor had pressed their bodies tight together and fully entered Yuuri the vocalizations increased. It wasn't long before Yuuri was bucking his hips against Victor, "Yes! Yes, more! Oh, Victor, YES!"

Victor was floored, watching the sweet bespectacled boy he knew become the sexual animal below him. Hadn't they started all this with Victor in charge? Hadn't he intended to stay that way? He felt more that he had been enslaved by Yuuri, subject to his every demand. He'd do anything, anything...

Victor tried to start slow but Yuuri egged him on endlessly, begging and bucking. Praise spilled from Victor's lips out of pure bliss.

"You feel amazing, my love. So warm, I-I love you so much. You're doing so good baby boy." 

Yuuri's thumping heart was dulling most sound but he could still hear the vulgar slap of Victor's hips against his thighs and the grunts from the man above him; it was too much for him to bear.

"Vic-tor-!" Yuuri managed, attempting a warning that was cut short when he ejaculated onto his own stomach. Victor thought he'd last longer. He might've if Yuuri had, but the sight of Yuuri convulsing and the cum shooting out of him, and the way his muscles clenched around Victor at that moment, and the memory of all those times that Yuuri had skated for Victor - just for him, trying to satisfy him - Victor couldn't contain himself. With a final thrust that sent Yuuri several inches closer to the headboard, Victor released himself inside Yuuri with an ugly groan.

When he pulled out he looked up at Yuuri guiltily. Would he be embarrassed? Would he regret this? Hormones were confusing, maybe Yuuri didn't actually want... him. But he met satisfied, happy eyes. Yuuri was giddy, smiling cheek-to-cheek.

"I can't believe we did that!" He cheered, more energetic than Victor by far. His stamina always was impressive.

Victor carefully collected the blankets around them after tossing the used condom, and found a comfortable position holding Yuuri before he collapsed, awake just long enough yet to say, "I love you, my katsudon. I'm so proud... to have the man I love break my record."

Victor could have been dreaming already, but he could've sworn he heard Yuuri say, "I love you too Vitya... please stay close to me forever."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist writing this after that finale and it was a huge mistake, I apologize for every part of it.


End file.
